motherhood / parenting

8 year old finished processing santa

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So a few hours went by after blowing the lid on the whole santa thing … and my 8 year old is in front of me and brings up santa. I look at him unsure about what to say as I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to tell him again as he perhaps wasn’t sure he understood what I had said earlier or he wanted to pretend he does exist and go with that. I asked him “do you want the truth or do you want me to tell you something you want to hear?”

And he hesitated and his first answer was “both”, Which made me sad for a second but then he quickly said “I want the truth.”

So I still felt a little down as I felt like I killed it for him but then I remembered a letter I had saved several years ago that was written  by another blogger and I went to get it and used parts of it to help explain.

He asked me for clarity; if I am santa….

I said “no. I am not Santa. There is no ONE Santa.”

“I am the person who fills your stocking and I wrap your gift under the tree with dad’s help.”

“I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning and sit under the tree with their faces lit with Christmas lights.”

“This won’t make you Santa, though either.”

“Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.”

“It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.”

“Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.”

“With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.”

“So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.” *

What really made him light up was when I told him he was santa too !

and it was in that moment that all the doubts and questions of ‘should I have said all of this’ disappeared  🙂

My 8 year old is so excited about the spirit of santa and thrilled that he knows about the magic… so perhaps I haven’t messed up after all 🙂

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~Lisa

*the letter I used can be found at this site; http://www.cozi.com/live-simply/truth-about-santa and I believe the original author is Martha Brockenbrough

update: a week has gone by since I told him and he seems more excited and happier then ever

the day I told my kids about the Easter bunny and Santa

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The day I told my kids the Easter bunny doesn’t exit or Santa for that matter and they didn’t loose it on me.

It’s been years in the making.

I fell into the Santa trap when my first was born. We got him toys and said they were from Santa, and I regretted it ever since. 

They never sat on any Santa lap and some years they didn’t even give Santa a letter so I really have no idea how they believed in him as I was never one to encourage it fully; besides wrapping ONE gift and placing it under the tree.  As I got smarter after the first year where I said ALL the gifts were from santa. I got only one gift from santa after that.

I am not sure what made me do it; as I didn’t grow up with any Santa. I don’t think it is a very Italian thing (there is ‘babbo natale’ ofcourse in Italy but the Italians have ‘la befana’ instead that is more popular; but she comes on January 6th) 

Anyways, every Christmas since that first Christmas (technically second as his first Christmas he was only 6 months old) I dreaded Christmas and hated  the whole Santa thing and it got worse once both my parents were gone as with no family it is a hard celebration. 

And so it’s been years I have been secretly hoping they would just realize; ‘yeah there is no Santa and it’s mom and dad’ and we would be done with it; But with each Christmas it felt like it was never going to happen. 

Then, causally over breakfast this morning, my kids started talking about the  Easter bunny (I have no idea how the topic came up)  And oddly enough  the easter bunny  has only come to our house  maybe a couple of times but for some reason they believe in it so much.

So I casually said with out even thinking really “there is no such thing as the Easter bunny!” 

And they looked at me and said “what” ?!? 

I was bracing myself for a melt down, but instead I got “I knew it!”  and a whole bunch of giggles from my 8 year old. 

Then my oldest said “1 down 4 to go!” So at that point I thought what 4? so he says Jack Frost (for some really odd reason ?!? And the sandman … Yeah I was as lost as you are)

So I say, “yeah those are not so real either, but then again,” I said,” I am not so sure if they are or aren’t.”

Then the conversation casually continued and then came Santa and I causally said “yeah santa isn’t real.” 

I gripped myself, expecting all hell to break loose and instead just got a “I knew it”  with lots of laughs from my 10 year old, while my 8 year old left the table as he needed time to process what I had just told him. and my 5 year old was completely not caring about what I was saying.

Everyone left the table and I was happy it ended there, as I knew the last one coming was the tooth fairy and well that was the only one I wasn’t quite ready to give up. 

So all is good in our home. 

Jack Frost and  the sandman may or may not be real. 

The Easter bunny is definitely a non existing thing and Santa well perhaps if my 8 year feels he is real then he really is real in his mind and heart.

As for the tooth fairy she is very excited for the next tooth she will collect 😉 

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And as for Santa I do believe he is real but he isn’t a ‘he’ but rather a spirit that is in all out us.

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In my next post I will tell you what happened to my 8 year old when he came to see me after processing everything.

~Lisa

mother’s day

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Happy mother’s day to all you wonderful moms out there 🙂

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This day has been  bittersweet for me for the last 7 years … a special message to my mom …
I miss you and I wish I could hear your voice and chat with you especially today… even though I talk to you all the time … I wish I could hear you answer me.

~Lisa

mommy day

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I want to wish all you mommies a very happy mommy day!

I hope your little ones drew and wrote you sweet notes… whispered I love yous in your ears and gave you great big hugs and kisses!

and a very special happy mothers day to my mom … I miss you like crazy and I think of you every day

my mom and me

my mom and me as a baby

 

Lisa

beautiful body shout out!

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Last week I started following on twitter  a photographer that I greatly admire and have liked for some time on facebook

She  joined the twitter world with her new beautiful body project …  and I was in awe when she gave me a shout out on twitter… it was one of those moments like meeting a movie star you like type thing only WAY better!!!!

Beautiful Body ProjBeautiful Body Proj ‏@ABeautBodyProj27 May

Connect to @sweetbellavita & @Birthsandmore two inspiring mothers who are making a differnece! #mom #moms #women #motherhood

and then I thanked her , as I was so giddy with excitement!

Lisa Lisa @sweetbellavita28 May

Thanks for the love @ABeautBodyProj You are an inspiration as well, with this awesome project #mom #moms #pregnancy #woman #photography

and her reply was

Beautiful Body ProjBeautiful Body Proj ‏@ABeautBodyProj28 May

@sweetbellavita Thank you for being the change you want to see in the world!

I encourage you to go check out her site  http://jadebeall.com/
Whether you are a man or a woman… her pictures are RAW, REAL  and emotional … and best of all strong and powerful!
you can find her facebook page here

her twitter beautiful body page here

and she has a kickstart page going on … if you want to encourage her in this amazing project!

Thanks for being the change Jade , you are an amazing soul!

Lisa

summer is in the air :)

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Can you feel it ???

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Summer is soooo close I can taste it !

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and I am bursting with excitement!!!

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I love summer  … spring is ok, but summer is in a field all of it’s own…

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The long days, late nights, amazing sunsets…

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The crazy thunder showers that blow in as quickly as they blow out …

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The heat that goes right to your head and makes you giddy and want to take that afternoon nap…

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The frozen treats, splash days, pool days, bike rides, flying kites, chalk fun, bubble fun,

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sandal wearing, short wearing …

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and all those amazing foods grown locally … I mean can it get any better then that ???

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Are you a summer person? What do you do in the summertime?

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I am grooving to this song lately

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the dog days of summer

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BRING IT  ON!!!
May summer be hot and sunny with a few thunder showers to help appreciate the sunshine even more 😉

Lisa